Sex and the City Challenge- The Monogamists

Has the world reached a stage where monogamy has become extinct?

I remember writing in one, or probably more than one post, about men sleeping around with innumerable girls and termed as a 'macho-man', while girls doing the same activity with men are termed as sluts and whores and prostitutes. But has the concept of being with one guy for the rest of your life vanished?

I see so many girls around me who claim to have boyfriends, but go around with n-number of guys. Please don't get me wrong, but I do not have the mind frame of the 60's, where girls are not supposed to talk to guys. I have lots of friends who are guys, and in fact, I personally feel that guys make lot more better friends than girls themselves. But, you know, the intimacy you show to that special guy, the physical love and mental space showered on and by him has practically just vanished.


Many at times people have told me that they do so to become cool and sexy. But is it really sexy to make out and love with more than one guy? Isn't that cheating on your guy? Well even if your guy is the jack that he is meant to be, would it be fair to yourself to behave in the same way?

Ok, maybe I am from the 60's, or at least the 80's where it was cool to have one guy and not-so-cool to sleep around with more than one. But I could be wrong. Maybe... Maybe not... Actually no... I am not...

Sex and the city

I have been very, sorry, extremely inactive in this wonderful world of blogging, and somehow I feel I have lost the entire love I had with words. It was a very disheartening realization, and sitting on my bed watching the Sex and the city series on my laptop I decided that I would challenge myself with something quite difficult.

I have been almost an illiterate when it came to the S** language, and I have been a big jerk to always laugh at every pervasive jokes my friends cracked without knowing the meaning! And so I have decided that I would write an article everyday on the title of each episode in the series. It could be anything from a general opinion on the topic, a fictional story, an anecdote or of any other genre.

It is basically to have some fun combined with my love for writing. Hope you guys like it and would really really love those sexy comments from you all!!

Cheers!

A walk by the beach

With the sun still half asleep and the cool water splashing on the soft sands, life seems to be a lot more serene and beautiful. A stroll on the beachside with the water hitting you to the appropriate level awakens you to a bright, happy day.

This morning few friends and myself visited a lazy and quiet beach close to college, and all of us would agree that it was the best way to start the week. Splashing the water at each other, clicking pictures till our hearts were contended and just lazing around was how this Sunday kick started.

To think about a lost loved one, to re-visit those moments spent with a lover you miss, to just play with the sand remembering one’s childhood, to collect shells and take them back home to, probably, just beautify your house, are few of those lovely things we did there. I could see the excitement on everyone’s faces when they saw a starfish; something they claim they had never seen before. To pose to a zoom lens the ‘poster’ way, with each of us looking at different directions made us feel like stars. Seeing a man perform two somersaults at a stretch was an awe we enjoyed with a wide open mouth.

I am sure a lot many of you would have enjoyed strolling by the beach. There definitely is no better place to be when you want to be alone or have a good time, to enjoy nature’s beauty at its best.

Anger unveiled

It is 4:43 and my eyes are wide awake. The entire world would be sleeping at this moment. Well, atleast the people in those parts where it is the night time. Obviously, because isn't that what people are supposed to do at night? Well guess what people at my college in one of the South Indian states are doing.... Any guesses?? I am sure you can do better than that guys... Ok fine let me tell you...

They are picking Pepsi bottles and cigarette buds from the campus garden. Why? Because the entire college; and when I mean by entire I actually mean entire except for a very few countable handful ones (which thankfully or the other way round includes me as well) was drunk and high to the maximum level possible. It was a Saturday night so 'daru' (Indian local word used for the upper class Drinks) is  expected. Infact I did expect the college to be drinking and smoking the night, but not even in my wildest of dreams did I imagine that it would go up to this extend. It has been exactly a week since I have joined college, and me being the 'social animal' that I am, I didn't know three forth of the crowd's names, especially boys. Neither did they make any effort to raise a hand. But I remember nearly five guys coming up to me and asking me my name and place. In fact when I asked one of them his name and place in return, he was hesitant of whether he was from Bombay or some other place starting with a Bom! And another girl kept chanting 'I am not drunk, I am not drunk' while dancing when she was supposed to be walking. People were that high.

I do not have an issue with people drinking or smoking. What the hell re! It isn't like people are going to pay heeds to anything that I say against something they are most familiar with, let alone drinking and smoking. I might be from a small town in Kerala, but I too have people and friends who drink and smoke. But I don't understand why do they go to such a level that they lose complete consciousness of themselves or their whereabouts. I am just very irritated, angry, depressed and sober right now, and I had to vomit it out somewhere since all of my other friends were busying puking shit! And what better place than my very own private space where God knows who reads my blog!

P.S: I am in no mood to find a picture for the article. You definitely do not want to see the pictures from college. Spare yourself the horror!

Marriage- for oneself or for the society??

When I was nearing my teenage, I was scared I would turn out to be a horrible, uncontrollable freak. And you know what? I turned out to be exactly that! Sometimes when I go back in time, and think of those moments when I used to have those dreaded fights with Amma, I imagine how she put up with me. Trust me, if I had such a daughter I would have gone crazy by the time she realized she was just in a pathetically beautifully stage of life!

Now that I am about to cross the dreaded 20's, I have this feeling I am going to be as unbearable as I was when I was in my teens. The only difference? When I was 13, I created chaos on every tiny thing; and now I am going to create havoc on just one single topic- marriage!

Today I read Aamir Khan's column in The Hindu, which was very coincidentally on marriage. And I was thoroughly surprised reading it, because it felt like he was writing an article on my views on marriage! I never really knew how to express my feelings on this 'law of nature phase' (as Achan puts it) and so his column made it so much easier to at least tell Amma. She read it, and guess what her reaction was! "I don't think most of this is possible!"

Why not? Why is it impossible to enjoy a subtle, simple marriage with just the two people who are about to tie the knot and those who really mean a lot to either of them? Why is it not possible to put off with the food and the shining ornaments, when that money can very well be put to much better use? Why is it that one has to choose a partner based on his/her family background? Are you marrying his/her family or the bride/groom them-self? Why is it an assurance that if the family is good the person you are to spend the rest of your lie with is also good? Can't other factors affect one's behaviour? And what if the person you have just met over a cup of coffee has split personalities; with the good gentleman in front of his parents (and you for that matter), while he is a horrible drug addict behind your back? Who is the actual self? And what surety do you have that he could change with your love? Accept it, this is no fairytale, and no Prince is going to come on a horseback with flowing hair! Ok maybe there could be the flowing hair, with all the new shampoos and costly barbers! And what if the girl you have fallen for in the first look is not the sati savathri types as you had wanted? What would you do? Would that beautiful, well mannered family help you out? But what exactly is the use of anyone helping you out, when ultimately, it's over?

I remember Achan recently telling me, or rather agreeing to me having a love marriage! Oh-oh hold on, on one condition. Love a person from a good family background who is financially well off. And do what? Hug the money and go off to sleep while your newly wed husband is off at a pub drinking to glory? I remember he showing me an example as well. One of my aunty's aunty's aunty's.... son married a girl from a well known family, whom I met for the first time recently! Guess what? She didn't even lend me a smile! So much for the 'family background'! I would rather prefer a person from a not so renowned family who I would love to meet a second time. So why exactly does a person want his/her daughter/son to marry a person from a well off family? So that the hard earned father-in-law's money would be handy during tough times? (I wonder what good for nothing person the guy would be!) Or is it so that they can flaunt about it to the outside world! (I am sorry, but will this society be of any help during a time of crisis? Oh, I am sorry they would be too busy criticizing on our mistakes!)

So back to my title- Do we marry to spend the rest of your life with a loving and caring person whom YOU love or whom your father-mother-uncle-aunty-maternal grandparents-paternal grandparents-neighbour uncle-neighbour aunty's mother-neighbour's friend's friend likes? Off late I have completely started hating the entire scenario that precedes marriage, only because of all the hungama of seeing whether something written on two papers match, and then there is the 'girl-seeing' ceremony where it actually means the parents seeing either side of the person in question and then that's it!! How in any God's name does a person like another person in one meeting?

Ok I think I should stop! So stop it! STOP IT!!!!

Is our culture going to drains?

I am sure a large number of us Indians would have been involved, or at the least heard, in the 'We are losing out on the essence of our culture' and 'The Westerners have truly left behind a lot of themselves and their culture ruining our younger generation' talk. Recently I read an article on a person's opinion on the topic and I somehow found that I too agree with him, more or less.

No matter how much we try to ape the West, there will always be an Indianness to it- is what I feel on the topic. We could be as broad-minded as them to see a movie with compromising scenes along with out children. But I wonder how many of them would actually not mind their own children hugging a person from the opposite sex. Not to mention if the girl is at a marriageable age! I know quite a few people, girls, who drink and get their head intoxicated with so much of booze that they are not very much in their senses. Personally, I am not for it. Maybe I am old-fashioned or non-modern, but I wonder why most of these very same 'modern' girls do all of this behind their parent's backs. Which very well shows that no matter how open or modern they may be, there is still the Indianness within them that pulls them away from telling their parents that "Yes Dad I drink, and I love it!" And I wonder how many of the parents, who consider themselves nothing short of being a replica of his/her American boss would like hearing that from their child.

I don't understand what is wrong in girls wearing jeans and a short top when she is out with her friends! Dude, what modernity are you talking about when you can't accept and respect the fact that that girl could very well be your sister or daughter. When you can wear low-waist jeans that literally grab for their lives from falling, what is it that makes your eyes pop out when girls wear 'decent' clothes covering everything that has to be covered? So are you modern? Well no I don't think so. I think that 'quality' to stare at a girl even she wears a salwar, is Indianness enough!

So is our culture going to the drains? I don't have an answer to that, but personally I feel the practice of blaming other cultures for the same is just an excuse for all the ill-treatments happening in the society. Don't all cultures have their good and bad sides? Yes, English is the world wide known language and no youngster can survive without being fluent in that language. It is a fact and one has to accept it! Very ironically and unfortunately that happened to be the 'mother tongue' of the Westerners! So accept the fact and thrive towards achieving it. It is the good side of that culture, and if you continue cribbing about the ill-effects other cultures have done to ours, then God save you! Because personally I feel, there is no one else to blame other than oneself. It is you who is ready to adopt the appalling standards of cultures. So bear it yourself. Don't blame someone else for your own actions!

An apology and a promise

Ever been in a situation where you have had tonnes of topics to write on, but you just wouldn't let yourself to sit down and write your heart out? Well that was exactly what my life was all about for the past God knows when!

Being bribed..Getting admission in one of the most reputed colleges in India...All the tension and weirdness that followed writing the examination and attending the interview and before the admission was announced...The feeling of having your parents with you every single minute of your life...A trip to a fabulous chilly place when compared to the scorching heat at the present place...Not to mention the cute people I met there!!! were just a few of the topics I wanted to pour my heart out on. But it was like a hatred towards words, I just couldn't wouldn't sit down to mesmerize my beautiful readers with my even more beautiful stories!

Ok, so this is another new thing I have promised myself on. I have got to make myself understand that I am capable of whatever I really want to achieve. Self-confidence-nil!

So here is the promise I have made around a zillion times! I will write on something, be it whatever random insane topic, everyday. You know why? Because I have a huge task and dream in front of me. And for that reality to be a dream, I have absolutely no time to laze around. So here's to a new beginning! CHEERS!!

Death leaves none

All those big shot, uberly super people, BEWARE!!
Because what awaits you, awaits all those poor slum dwellers, who you have tortured to the maximum possible. Surprised??
But isn't it true?
Death is the same for both the extremes.
In front of death, there is no good or bad, first-class or poor, evil or superior.
S/he is inevitable and irreplaceable.
So enjoy the time given to you.
But not at the expense of other's happiness...
Because they too have the right to live and enjoy the very same life gifted to you.


P.S: I don't really know how this post has come out, but I am just very moved by a person's death, who was close to my heart.

Tired of fighting? Learn to juggle!

There was this wonderful opportunity at company X where I could have worked, had my husband allowed me to! If it wasn’t for my marine engineer husband’s crave to have me at home during his four months of holiday, I wouldn’t be sitting idle during the rest of the months when he is busy working! Had my ex-fiancé been broader minded and allowed me to work along with the men crowd, I would have been happily married by now!

How many of us have or is going through such a situation where we would love to work and earn a living for ourselves, but have kept aside our dreams and aspirations for the happiness of our better halves? Women have been known for their sacrificing abilities and many at times members of the opposite gender tend to misunderstand their decisions as our happiness.

At the same time how many of us have been in such a situation where our husbands admire women who are financially and professionally independent? Not to forget that these women are in no way related to them! Feel inferior? Does our inner voice cry, “You are incapable!”? Scream aloud the song, ‘mein karoon toh saala character deela hain’, and it would fit perfectly.

So how exactly can you- the ‘love of their life’- calm down the men folk when you lay your neatly pedicured, nail painted slender legs on to the work field?

The sole and life breaching reason is the lack of trust the men folk have in us. The solution? Do learn to take things with a pinch of salt. Do not take the “I don’t trust you” dialogue in the literal sense. Haven’t you had that ‘special’ moment when you doubt your husband when he is on the phone with a lady colleague? Men too have the freedom to hesitate such a moment in their life. Gain their trust. Spend some time with him and make him realize how important this job offer is to you and how it would help both of you financially.

But in the chaos of working, do not forget to spend that quality time your husband loves! No matter how modern life could get, any hungry, tired man would love to get back to a house where his wife welcomes him with a warm smile and hug along with a table of his favourite dishes. Sounds tough and tiring, doesn’t it? Whoever coined the proverb, ‘there is no gain without pain’, was completely true to the last dot!

Jugglers are not meant to be confined to the circus. A woman is known to be the queen of juggling; mastering the art of being a daughter, sister, wife, mother, home-maker, workaholic all together. So do remember your role as a wife and mother along-with the workaholic title! My mother, for example, was a super awesome mother and a star at her office. I am sure many of yours were too!

Well it all sounds a work of the superwoman, doesn’t it? But with all the elements in place, your husband is sure to agree to you stepping foot outside the house. After all behind every successful woman there is the hand of a man as well!

A farewell

You know that feeling when you sense a new beginning? A new life which you are not very sure if it will be a pleasant one or a tough one? A new start to a phase, which you are not very sure if you are looking forward to experience.

Well, on that morning that is how I felt. Opening my eyes to a room filled with packed bags and an otherwise overcrowded shoe stand, empty, it shot on me that this was the end to college life. Just a day before, the entire class was in tears and the four of us laughing away to glory. But I was sure that this morning would be gloomy and upset. None of us really cried, except for me. So we were quite sure we wouldn’t cry, but we were also sure that all of our hearts would be heavy.

So running that last run through one end of the corridor to the other, my eyes did fill with tears, but I held it back. After all it wasn’t like we would never meet again. And so we hugged like we would never let go, and said our final goodbyes. And all four of us didn’t forget to laugh those hideous laughs of us and we parted ways.

And now for the main question. What next? Well, it would either be higher studies or a job! My parents would love it if I studied for a year or two more, but I would love to visit the work field and have a feel of it before I dig deeper into more books! Apart from these two options, I have many things in mind which I wish I could do. 

I would love to keep cooking till I shift to someplace else. I have to get my license in these two months. It is now or never! I want to reduce my weight! And I would love to be a lot more active on blog.

But for the time being it is just fun, relaxation and thinking about the old madness and smiling.

P.S: My comment list has gone down drastically L!!

What was it that she did wrong??

Before I start writing this story, I would like to make one thing clear to avoid any further confusions. The post posted is purely a piece of fiction and has no relation with either my life or anyone I know. I was watching a movie recently, and came up with one doubt which will be asked in the end of the story. I didn’t want to stop the post with just the question and so the story. It is no fairytale, so there won’t be any ‘once upon a times’ or ‘happily ever afters’. Now let’s get on to the story shall we?

Rema was hit by obstacles right from her birth. She had been fighting with members of the opposite sex right from when she was safe inside her mother’s tummy. Safe would definitely be an understatement since her father didn’t want her alive, for the sole reason of being a girl or not a boy. But she always found shelter in the one person who always protected her, her mother.

And so she made it to the world. She was probably a lot better inside her mother’s tummy since life was not a bed of roses for her. Rather it was a flock of thorns. Her father beat her from when she could remember, and she craved for her grandmother’s love from time immemorial. But little did she know that life was definitely going to take a wild bump when her mother passed away when she was a tender ten year old.

She felt alone and lonely. Why wouldn’t she? Her mother was the only one who loved her and gave her the care and affection with the help of which she passed all obstacles. Not to mention successfully. And with that person not in her life anymore, she felt lost. Her father however felt freedom ever since he lost his wife, since he could beat and literally kill his daughter a lot more. And so he did by getting her married off to a man in his thirties.

Rema felt scared in his presence, but never forgot her duties towards him. The same duties her mother used to perform to her father. She cooked for him, massaged his legs and hands when he came back after a fight and lay still when he fulfilled his pleasures. But never did she feel the pleasure of being loved and caressed by a person of the opposite sex.

After days and months of his fulfillments, Priya came into this world. Rema felt happiness and peace when she held her for the first time. Her daughter. She promised Priya to look after her the same way her other looked after Rema. She felt complete and understood why her mother fought till her last breath to save Rema. She wished and believed her husband would change for the good with the arrival of the angel.

But little did she know that life was going to be an even bigger hell for Priya than it was for her. Her husband never looked at her with a fatherly affection. She felt he looked at Priya the same way he looked at her when they were in bed. She felt scared for her daughter but never lost hope. But all of her hopes crushed to pieces when she returned one day from the market only to return home to a bed filled with blood. Her daughter lay still on the bed with blood all over her body. Her lips were crushed and her body had bite scars. She turned to her husband for answers; which she had already known but didn’t want to accept.

She cried; for days and months. But the pain didn’t wipe away, neither did the wounds. Her daughter’s lifeless face kept haunting her. She felt helpless unable to complete the promise she had made to her daughter the day she was born. But she felt strong. Years of rage and anger were all about to end. She felt strong enough to perform one activity; one murder; just one murder. She went to the room where her husband lay peaceful, unmoved by their daughter’s death. She hit him on the head with the frying pan she used to use to make him chapathis. The pillow to his side finished the job.

She felt happiness and peace, even though she had to spend the rest of her life in jail. She felt confident to meet her daughter up there. She was waiting to meet her and spend the rest of their time in peace.

­­­­­­­­_________________________________________________________________________________

What wrong did Rema do? If you see her as a wife, I don’t think she was wrong. Neither was she as a mother. But she still had to spend the rest of her life in jail. Why?

RIP Afreen

Recently during my research viva, my external asked me to mention in one sentence how I, as a member of the media and society would help in reducing the number of smokers in India. The answer I gave was ‘Your parents wanted the best for you. Don’t you want the same for your kids?’ I stressed on the fact how smoking can affect one’s future generations and their babies. But I wonder how I would explain it to people like baby Afreen’s parents, who not just didn’t want the best for their daughter but didn’t want the daughter at all.

I wonder how her father could so brutally murder her that he didn’t even give her the chance to enjoy the rights she was entitled to. What would have twisted his mind so much that his crave for a son enabled him to brutally assault and kill his own daughter? His very own flesh and blood. Couldn’t he just glance at those innocent eyes that would look after him much better than a son would have during his old days? Hadn’t Afreen got his finger even once in between her tiny fingers, and wouldn’t he have silently promised to look after her from all odds? Wouldn’t she have smiled her innocent smile at least once melting her father’s heart?

Or was her father’s heart so cruel and taken aback due to the lack of a son that all these seemed irrelevant to him? Maybe he was unaware that it was because of him that Afreen turned out to be Afreen and not Afridi! Maybe he felt a son would look after him a lot better than a daughter would. Maybe he would have been right. But he didn’t even give a chance to Afreen to choose whether to look after her parents or to walk on her own. I wonder how all these still prevail in a so called ‘democratic’ country where everyone is entitled to certain rights which they have the right to enjoy.

RIP Afreen and I hope at least in your next birth you get parents who deserve you. Who would look after you like an angel. Like the love of their life. 

For more details: NDTV

Possessiveness: WHY??

I am sure all of us would have experienced an intense craving, an extreme desire to possess something or someone. You haven’t? Well, good for you is all I can say. Because I have felt it a zillion times. The need to possess something materialistically, to own someone, to win someone’s love, to catch someone’s love a bit more than that person provides it to someone else, and the list goes on. But there have been two major questions that haunt me when I think about possessiveness and its ‘forms’. Why exactly do we have this feeling to possess something or someone? Why is it that we feel insecure or jealous when your boyfriend/husband talk or at the least smile at another girl? Why is it that we feel we are less loved by our parents when they care a bit more (or so we feel) our younger sibling and not us? Is it because we are otherwise less loved? I really don’t think so. But why then this possessiveness?

A couple walks down the road. They are merrily talking holding hands. Out of nowhere, there is this friend of her boyfriend’s who smiles at him and slows down for a small chat. The guy too stops by to talk to her and introduces his girlfriend to her as well. But the rest of the journey does not seem like it was five minutes back. There were no holding hands and there definitely is no ‘merry talking’ going on. Why did the girl feel sad? Was she insecure? Or jealous? Or worst of all did she not trust him? Personally, many at times I have felt that this feeling has nothing to do with trust. Please read, many at times! So why then this possessiveness?

A child is happily playing with her doll. She combs the Barbie’s hair, corrects her clothes and plants a kiss on her cheek. Her mother’s friend’s daughter comes home. She too joins with the first child, and guess what, she loves the same Barbie. The house is sure to end up in a mess. The first child cries and snatches the doll saying “its mine”, while the second child whines and yells, “I want it”. Why exactly does it happen?

Is possessiveness good or bad? Many at times I have felt bad when my best friend talks to another person and feels as comfortable as she is with me, with her. Is it good or bad? It isn’t because I have a feeling I would lose her. I would never lose her. She is my best friend.  But then why this feeling. Why, WHy, WHY!!! 

"For Myself, Who else?"

“Why do you dress up so much?” “There is too much of kohl around your eyes.” “Does my face look too white?” “Women spend so much time in front of the mirror.” or “Why do women take so much time to dress up?”

A few questions a lot many women would have faced at some point of time. They could either be on the receiving end. Or they could also be the person asking the question. Well obviously the last two would probably be asked by members of the opposite gender.  

I have been asked many at times the first question, and to be on the safer and more ‘self-loving’ side I would answer, “To satisfy myself who else!” However, when I think about it later on I know the answer I should have said was “To create a good first impression to the person in front of me.” How about you ask this question to a young Muslim woman, clad in the traditional black burqa from head to toe? Personally I would say the apt answer for her would be “For myself, who else!”

Obviously it is for her and no one else. Why? Because she doesn’t expose any of her features to create a good first impression to a person who looks at her. A Muslim woman, especially in the Middle East, or should I say West Asia, is expected to adorn herself with the black ‘abhaya’ from top to bottom irrespective of what she is wearing beneath the burqa. It is a custom, and they are expected to follow it.

But any person who has seen a young Arab Muslim woman without the burqa would agree when I say that they are truly beautiful beings. Their eyes are probably the only feature that is allowed to be showed, and how prettily they beautify them. Those thick-kohl filled eyes are truly to die for. And once they remove those black clothes, you would probably feel ashamed with the way you are clad. They would be wearing the best of best clothes, and even if they were wearing normal attire, the way they carry themselves would just make us stare and awe. And their skin is so soft and clean, that you would wish you had the same skin.

But once they wear the abhaya, none of it is seen. So who do they dress up for? For themselves, who else!

Quiet

P.P.S:Due to certain comments I have received after writing this post, I find it a compulsion to put this up. This story is purely and completely fiction and has no resemblance to me or my personal life.

Those eyes reminded me of a lot many things. The gaze reminded me of the way he peeped deep into my eyes on that day. His hands reminded me of his touch on my breasts. His evil smile reminded me of the taste I felt when his lips fought with mine. The feeling I had when his tongue explored the inside of my mouth. The pain I felt when he pressed me all over with his hands.

He was my father. The person without whom my birth wouldn’t have been possible. Without whom I would still be waiting to be brought to life. Was this how I was born? Did my mother experience the same pain before I was born? Or was it a mutual feeling called love they had for each other which resulted in my birth? I don’t know. But I wish I knew.

Though it has been nearly four years since that dreaded day, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sick. My mother asked me to stay at home and take rest. And so I did, since I never went against what my parents asked me to do. My mother worked at the bank, and she couldn’t take the day off. And so she left, since my father said he would take the day off and look after me. Little did she know how he would look after me.

I had a sore throat and was having a tough time to sleep, when I heard my father come into my room and close the door. He smiled at me, a smile I never received from him before. But he was my father, and I returned the smile.

“Are you fine my dear?” he asked.

“My throat is a bit rough. Other than that I am feeling a lot better”, I said.

“Don’t worry dear, I will make you feel a lot better now” was the last few words I heard from him.

And then everything turned black. The feeling of pain, betrayal, sorrow all united together is a bit too much to handle. And I never spoke to him ever again. I cried. I cried in the afternoon, I cried when my mother returned home, I cried to sleep. I didn’t know what else to do. I was just seven. An age when fathers are your hero. A phase when the person you look up to and wish to follow is your father.

But I never told my mother anything. What should I tell her? Should I tell her that I was raped by my father? Or should I tell her that the person whom she married and loved was a cheat? And that he had used his very own daughter to satisfy his dirty pleasures? It was enough that I suffered. I didn’t want my mother to suffer as well. And so I kept quiet. I have still remained quiet.

P.S:I have realized that I do not know how to find apt photos from Google :(.

I am 'Tagged'!!!

It's been pretty long since I have actually played a game! Actually no, I did play a game with my friends this weekend. A game called 'The Game of Life'. If you haven't played it, you should!


Anyway Viya wants to know a bit more about myself, and has tagged me in this beautiful game called 'Tag'!


So the rules?

Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.

Rule#2: Every person who is tagged in this activity should tell 11 things about themselves, then answer the questions asked by the person who tagged you, then tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions. 

Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.

Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.

Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''

So here are the 11 random things about myself (God this is going to be tough)!

1. I am a lot less short-tempered when compared to how I was earlier (Oh yes, I was very very bad friends :P)

2. I consider myself to be the Queen of 'stage-fright'. I can shiver till my legs consider not holding on to my body weight just before I get on to a stage. In fact I do not go on the stage during marriage functions as well. I run to the eating hall as soon as the 'thali' is tied!

3. Speaking about eating, I am a foodie. I adoreeee food!!

4. But I crave for a slimmer body, which I don't think will appear anytime soon!

5. So I hope all of you understand from points 4 and 5 that I am very difficult in making decisions on my own. I can be easily (and I mean damn easily) manipulated by anyone who I care about even to the slightest.

6. I miss playing my guitar.

7. I miss home and Amma's food :(

8. I trust people a lot quicker than I would like to.

9. I hate anyone (guys or girls) who do not respect women.

10. I sometimes feel that people text me only because I have started the conversation and not because they actually am interested in talking to me :|!

11. I wish I was as smart as the person I am when I am talking to myself!

So voila Vi and my other friends, I think my seminar was a lot more easier :P!!

So here are Viya's questions!

1. Which is the colour which best describes you?

A. I think pink would be my answer, for the sole reason I love anything and everything in pink. You buy anything, and I mean ANYTHING in pink, and I would love you for the rest of my life :D.

2. Shoes or bags or clothes?

A. I would have to go with clothes considering the mess in my wardrobe. But shoes is a recent obsession that has taken over me!

3. What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you, but now makes you laugh?

A. Very simple. During my 11th grade I participated for an instrumental music competition where I was to play the guitar. Since I had recently joined that school, my seniors totally made a laughing stock out of me by hooting and shouting, which led to me giving up playing the guitar. But now I think about it, I end up crying due to laughter! And the best part, I laugh with those very seniors!

4. Culture and heritage? or 'in-thing' and future? why? 

A. Culture and heritage. Personally I feel, no matter how modern one becomes, culture is what is going to either bind him to the ground or bury him under the ground. A person is known by the culture s/he follows. For example, no matter how broad-minded and modern India becomes, an Indian will always be expected to follow certain norms such as respect for elders and oneself. That is what marks an Indian from any other nation citizen.

5. If you had a time machine, would you want to take a peek into the future or change something from the past?

A. Definitely change something from the past. I still have time to shape my future and I wouldn't want to ruin the fun of knowing it before hand. But I do believe that if certain things from my past had happened differently, my present and ultimately my future would have been a lot more bright!

6. Have you eaten something that is not edible?

A. Does paper count :P!!!

7. Do you believe in the purpose of relationships?

A. I completely agree with the idea of relationship. I do not believe that any person can live without no relationship at all. Be it family, friends, love or even enmity. I believe even enmity is a relationship to be cherished.

8. Do you wanna be the person who would dedicate his life to do something great for the benefit of the society and land up in textbooks or would you rather lead a quiet happy satisfied life with the family and friend?

A. I would rather dedicate my life to do something for the benefit of the society and lead a quiet, happy and satisfied life with my family and friends :)!!

9. What is the one dream you remember vividly?

A. A dream where I was surrounded my snakes (yuck yuck yuck)!!!

10. Do you have a purpose in life or do you just take life as it comes?

A. Broadly, yes I do have a purpose in life. But ultimately I take life as it comes!!

11. Your bestest childhood memory?

A. That is pretty easy. My parents and myself lived in Saudi Arabia for around 4 years, when my sister had to study in India. The flights from Cochin to Saudi was always at odd times, and every time she visited home (Saudi), Amma would make it a point to make Porotta, Chicken curry and there would be the Puck cheese spread both of us drooled over! So I used to wait for Chechi to come only for that :P!! But I love her more than ever, so I am not evil!!

Now I am supposed to tag 11 different people. The winners (in no particular order) are:

Hazel

Sujatha Di

Red

Upasana

Sahana Di

Saru Di

The Little Princess

Mirage

Aleeya

Serendipity

MNET

Now to my set of 11 questions, ayayoooo

1. Your favourite colour and why?

2. Do you agree with the concept of eloping with your guy/girl without the knowledge of your parents?

3. The most memorable moment of your life?

4. Would you rather live life adventurously taking risks whenever possible, or would you prefer living a peace and quiet life?

5. An incident that changed your life?

6. Bed coffee, coffee with a newspaper or coffee along with breakfast?

7. Have you ever been compared to a person you never thought you had any resemblance to? If so who?

8. A dream yet to be fulfilled, but hope to be completed soon?

9. Something you miss from your childhood?

10. Nail-painted leg or mehendi-scented hands?

11. One person you cannot live without?

I AM SO GLAD THIS IS OVER!! It was so much more difficult than I would have wanted it to be. But I had fun, and thanks a ton Vi for the tag :) :*!!

P.S: My external viva went extremely well. Two final papers done, three more to go :)