Thursday, March 15, 2012

Quiet

P.P.S:Due to certain comments I have received after writing this post, I find it a compulsion to put this up. This story is purely and completely fiction and has no resemblance to me or my personal life.

Those eyes reminded me of a lot many things. The gaze reminded me of the way he peeped deep into my eyes on that day. His hands reminded me of his touch on my breasts. His evil smile reminded me of the taste I felt when his lips fought with mine. The feeling I had when his tongue explored the inside of my mouth. The pain I felt when he pressed me all over with his hands.

He was my father. The person without whom my birth wouldn’t have been possible. Without whom I would still be waiting to be brought to life. Was this how I was born? Did my mother experience the same pain before I was born? Or was it a mutual feeling called love they had for each other which resulted in my birth? I don’t know. But I wish I knew.

Though it has been nearly four years since that dreaded day, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sick. My mother asked me to stay at home and take rest. And so I did, since I never went against what my parents asked me to do. My mother worked at the bank, and she couldn’t take the day off. And so she left, since my father said he would take the day off and look after me. Little did she know how he would look after me.

I had a sore throat and was having a tough time to sleep, when I heard my father come into my room and close the door. He smiled at me, a smile I never received from him before. But he was my father, and I returned the smile.

“Are you fine my dear?” he asked.

“My throat is a bit rough. Other than that I am feeling a lot better”, I said.

“Don’t worry dear, I will make you feel a lot better now” was the last few words I heard from him.

And then everything turned black. The feeling of pain, betrayal, sorrow all united together is a bit too much to handle. And I never spoke to him ever again. I cried. I cried in the afternoon, I cried when my mother returned home, I cried to sleep. I didn’t know what else to do. I was just seven. An age when fathers are your hero. A phase when the person you look up to and wish to follow is your father.

But I never told my mother anything. What should I tell her? Should I tell her that I was raped by my father? Or should I tell her that the person whom she married and loved was a cheat? And that he had used his very own daughter to satisfy his dirty pleasures? It was enough that I suffered. I didn’t want my mother to suffer as well. And so I kept quiet. I have still remained quiet.

P.S:I have realized that I do not know how to find apt photos from Google :(.


17 comments:

Nia said...

Beautifully written. At the first paragraph, I thought it was the character's partner, the second paragraph, I didn't expect such a twist, and the last was shocking enough! I could feel every emotion in this narration.

Well done!

the other side of me said...

:( awww..this is sad..what's more sadder that this happening to someone out there now..

Jen..The Butterfly Effect said...

Sweet Writing Bee,firstly a huge round of applause for you! I see in you a lot of boldness,courage and guts ..guts that no devil can win you over!

So,sweetheart fight for yourself,survive this world with all your inner strength for you live your life only once! Don't let anyone anyone make a fool of you,EVER again! The almighty loves you and you'll be taken care of! But you've got to choose your path now.And I'm sure you'll choose the right one and the most less tread and you'll soar so high that you'll confound yourself! :) Show us a miracle,lady!:)

Prayers and love to you :)
xxoo

Writing Bee said...

@Nia: Thank you so much dear and I hope I didn't confuse you too much.

@TOSM: Very very true. When we are comfortably cuddling in our sofa, there would be someone out there feeling the exact and probably more pain I tried bringing out.

@Jen: That was a very sweet comment dear. And I hope I get to show you that miracle soon. Love :)

Sujatha Sathya said...

oh no! the way it ended was not what i expected
this could be the story of many a girl - untold, un-shared

..the floodgate of feelings..:] said...

i think you should have informed it that day only, but since you were young, u didnt know...you should tell your mother, if he does anything to you again, or if he looks at you weirdly, otherwise, i guess you shouldnt, maybe he has gotten better and wont commit such a thing again!
all the best dear, the post was truly heart wrenching...!

Red Handed said...

a very hard hitting post. I shuddered.
Sad state of affairs... How low a human being can stoop :(

the little princess said...

That was an emotional post, but behind all that is a girl with a lot of grit and courage, always be that way..

... and remember that a woman can be as strong 'as SHE wants to be'. be that strong woman..always! god be with you...

My Never Ending Thoughts... said...

This dark sad post. It made me remember a movie "The girl in the yellow boots".. Well written dear..

A Fragile Clay Jar said...

I am so sorry you had to go through this. My prayers go out to you and your family. Know that God is in control and he will not let evil go unpunished. Smile because he loves you.

Writing Bee said...

@Suujatha Di: I am sure many girls bear this and a lot more.

@the floodgate of feelings and a fragile clay jar: I am so very sorry if you felt this is a personal story. This is purely and completely a piece of fiction!

@Red: Very very true. Some men don't hesitate to stoop so much that they forget how to stand straight

@thelittleprincess: Thank you so much dear :)

@MNET: Thank you :)

Confused Soul said...

Men..They STOP at NOTHING..their desperation is pathetic.

This post gave me goosebumps!I hope one day, people will understand!

Writing Bee said...

@Shreya: I seriously hope they realize and value the worth of a woman at some point or the other. Better late than never!!

My Never Ending Thoughts... said...

After reading some of the comments here i suggest u to please write a word fiction at the start of the story dear.. :-(

Writing Bee said...

@MNET: I know. I am sad people think it is my story, when it is purely and thoroughly fiction :(!!!

mohan said...

Amazing heart touching story....... It is the depth of realism in the emotions you portrayed through your words that makes people think its your story. Hats off to your empathy. keep up dear.....

Writing Bee said...

@Mohan: Thanks a lot for that comment. Thanks for stopping by :)