Monday, August 29, 2011

10 Day Challenge- Final strike

This being my last day of the challenge, I thought I would chuck the 'favourite three' idea and go on and write about what I feel like writing about.

First things first, the challenge truly earned me several new visitors and followers, which I love. Thank you all. Your comments and suggestions are truly a boost to my writing :).

Now to the more lighter side of it. Or maybe not. Would you opt for a love marriage or an arranged marriage? Why is it the Indian culture, is still against love marriage? Or atleast they are not for it. Or maybe it is mostly in the southern part of India, and the northern part have grown beyond it. I have heard parents tell their children, "Swantham chekane kandu pidichu nyangale veshamipikarathu" (Do not bring sadness to us by choosing a guy by yourself). What sadness are they talking about? What if their child's happiness lies with that person? Or do the parents mean to agree to the guy/girl they choose for their child, even if the child's happiness lies with some other person. As long as the parents are not sad, everything and everyone is happy.
I agree, and I truly mean when I say this, we as children have absolutely no right to hurt our parents, in any way. They have given birth to us, taken care of us, fed us, bathed us, dressed us, made us happy in every way possible with great pain and difficulty. When I speak, I do not mean you elope with the person you have met few days, months or years back for the parents who have taken care of you for your entire life. Neither do I agree with it. Infact, I strongly disagree with it. But does that mean, we let go or sacrifice our happiness for our parent's happiness?
My parents sometimes say that love marriages do not work. But what guarantee can they give me that arranged marriages will work. On the other hand, aren't there tens and thousands of love marriages that are still strong (touch wood), but more than hundereds of arranged marriages that are waiting for their cases to be accepted in the courts? The only bonus star I have found about arranged marriages when compared to love marriages is that, when arranged marriages do not work you have your parents to support you. But in love marriages you just have yourself to blame. Or maybe not. I am not very sure.
But, isn't love about two souls being as one? You love a person, you trust him, care for him, stand by him in thick and thin. And expect, and hope, the same in return. Be it love marriage or arranged marriage, I believe that this institution called marriage is a very solemn and sacred place, where adjustment is a vital ingredient. and the next most important organ would be trust and love. If you love a person, completely with your entire heart, I believe, trust follows its way.

P.S: I am neither for or against either of them. I believe it is a very pure and loving relationship, that should be nurtured and preserved. It should be given the value which it deserves, and should be grown with great care and respect. As long as you hold on to the person you love, I guess there won't be any problem in living life together. Maybe for seven whole years :)!


Saru Singhal said...

Love or arranged, it's not the question, the most important thing is compatibility. Also, I think people are mature enough these days and most of them make a wise decision. You may be right about south india. Coming from north, most of the marriages around me in the past 10 years are love, well accepted by parents.

Sai said...

Nice Blog....

Deepthi said...

@Saru: Hoping it will be so fast enough in South India as well :P

@Sai: Thank you :)

Sujatha Sathya said...

you are correct there: the thing with arranged marriage is IF it doesn't work out, you've a support system. but in love, it's mostly you & even if there are others, there's always the nagging feeling that i brought this upon myself guilt. i guess that's why arranged marriages are preferred because it's relatively secure & less threatening as many more people are directly involved in it.

good post.

Deepthi said...

But isn't love and trust a lot more important when you are going to start a lifetime journey with someone? The support system is an indirect agreement in the beginning, that the marriage will not work and will end in the way it is not supposed to be :P