Women are... A Realization

Everyone says women are pretty, beautiful, caring, loving, hard working, pleasant and what not. I agree. Completely. But from yesterday I would add a few more adjectives to the gender women. They would be selfish, self-centered and stubborn. Well, not all, but definitely a lot many of them. I am proud to be born a woman, rather than be one of those men who find nothing else better to do than stare at women with wide mouths from when they get to know the difference between men and women till they lie breathless under the ground. Or maybe, even then. I don’t know. I would do anything to empower and bring up women, and keep them at par as men. But, I was a very irritated disappointed and angry woman yesterday.

I was travelling back home from hostel for a gap of two days. I was planning to bunk a day off, but thanks to the All India Bandh, I have to cancel that! I really don’t understand what pleasure everyone gets in troubling the normal routine of individuals by calling a complete strike-out! Anyway back to what I actually wanted to convey through this post. So yes, I was travelling. And as always I was travelling in the ladies compartment. My parents and grandparents ask me not to travel in the ladies coupe, thanks to the Soumya murder case (those who do not know what the case is about, please Google it. I am sure you would get tones of controversies). But I find it the most comfortable place to travel in.

It was very crowded. In fact it was shit crowded. It usually isn’t that crowded, not in the ladies coupe at least. So there was this lady, middle aged, with a baby. Why exactly do people travel in such crowded trains with a small baby? Would it hurt to reach their home one day later, even at the cost of squeezing your little ‘kannan’ in between tens and thousands of people? So, I guess you people could imagine the roar coming out from that baby’s throat. ‘The Lady’ tried feeding the baby, but it didn’t really work. So, she called up her husband who was in one of the other compartments and informed him about the baby crying. Is a baby crying something new? Especially in a hell crowded train? And guess what, the husband and father of the roaring cub decide to do? Come along to the ladies compartment and caress the baby at the next station!

Thankfully, there was a Sane Lady with a little courage and dignity, and asked the husband to move on to the next compartment since that was a ladies compartment, which meant it was to be occupied only and ONLY by ladies! There was a small argument but he ultimately agreed to it and carried the baby along. And guess what ‘The Lady’ did. She started crying!! I have no bloody idea why she was crying. But she was. And there came along ‘The Rescue Lady’ who was the sister of the husband! God knows where she was when the baby was crying his heart out!! Here is a gist of the conversation.

The Rescue Lady to The Sane Lady: What did you tell her? (pointing to The Lady)

The Sane Lady: I asked her husband to get down from the ladies compartment and move on to one of the other compartments.

The Lady (still tears rolling down her eyes): Didn’t you see a crying baby out here? He had come only to look after him.

The Sane Lady: If that was the case the entire family can go to the general compartment. This is a ladies compartment and no gents are allowed.

The Rescue Lady: That man is this (The Lady) girl’s husband and my brother. He will not touch anyone. What would happen if the baby died? Like, seriously lady what were you thinking about!

The Sane Lady: I don’t want to know any of that. This is a ladies compartment, and no gents can come. If one person comes, for be whatever reason, other gents will come and ask us, “If he can get in, why can’t we”. What answer do you want us to tell them? If you want your husband to get into a ladies compartment, then what is the difference between a ladies and general compartment?

And so there was a huge debate on what is right and what is wrong! The conclusion I came to is that women would say any NON-SENSE to prove themselves right and would do anything that would favour them. I am sure these same women would oppose if some other man had gotten in! But there are some sane people out here too :P!

There is no use of women fighting for empowerment and equality, when there are specimens like these among us. Stand for the right, no matter what it is. Forget about the consequences, you can at least sleep peacefully at night!

The Ladies Coupe'

I am sorry to disappoint all my readers, because this is not a book review of ‘Ladies Coupe’. This is my experience in a ladies coupe. And there were more than five ladies in the compartment. A lot more.

I was off to visit my uncle’s place from college with two of my friends. All the other compartments were jet packed, thanks to the bi-elections about to happen in Tamil Nadu. So we thought we would get into the ladies compartment, in spite of the Soumya murder case. We were quite pleased we did that. Or at least I was.

There is always that sincere, loving and caring smile on a lady’s face when she sees a member of the same sex. Probably because only a lady understands another’s worries and pain. Or maybe, it is just because it saves them from the usual stare they get from the opposite gender. And so there were several sincere smiles at us, greeting us like we were their long lost child, providing us with the tiny little gap between them and the nearby lady to let us sit. They spoke to us like we had left their homes for the day and we were back together and were filling each other with the day’s work and fun. Personally, I felt like I was at home talking to my mother or grandmom. I felt at home.

Even the vendor lady busy selling vegetables were smiling at us. Trust me, that is not an everyday sight. She was sure to have a huge money to care back home in the ladies coupe. I loved the journey in the special compartment reserved for us ladies, and given a chance again I would probably visit my fellow ‘travellers’ soon! 

Yeh hai meri kahani

I ogled at the baby placed in my hands. His round-black-innocent eyes, dusky coloured skin, curly jet-black hair, rosy pink lips curled one on top of the other reminded me of the rhyme I learnt when I was a year or two older than this baby. He looked at me with an intense stare and his lips curved to form a smile, which I knew would remind me in the worst of worst moments that it would be ok. I held him tight and kept my little finger in his tiny hands, and closed my eyes and said promised, “chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye mein yeh haath nahi chodunga.”  

Three years had passed since Rahul was placed in my hands. But I never had a moment where I did not keep my promise. Be it day or the worst nights, I always had him by my side, reminding me with that beautiful smile of his that it would be ok. Probably he wouldn’t calm me with the same smile once he grew up and realized what his mother did for a living, but I hope he would understand.

I was a graduate student. I completed my graduation in a very reputed college next to my village. I was a bright and ambitious student, may be if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have had this fate. A man came home, one day, and asked my mother, “kya aap apni neti ko kaam ke silsile mein Mumbai bechna chaathi ho?” My eyes would have nearly pumped out of my face, but thankfully they didn’t. My mother, unlike the others in the village, did not believe in getting her daughter married right after her studies. She wanted her daughter to work and earn money, before she could get her married off. Maybe if she followed the other women in the village, I would have been in some safe home, making dal and paratha.

I was called off from my past with a loud knock on my door. I opened it to a man in his early 40’s, who was drunk and barely in his senses.

Man: “Jaldi karo, mujhe zyada waqy nahi hai.”

"Kya aap shadi shuda ho?”

Man: “Haan. lekin use teri kya lena dena? jaldi karo varna mein kissi aur ka paas ka ja ongi. Bahut paise denge. Aa ja randi.”

With a sigh, knowing someday I would be the cause for the loss of his marriage, I agreed. Only to feed Rahul.

Sheela was a prostitute, by fate. The man who had taken her to Mumbai, was part of a sex racket, and had brought her over to sell her. She had no other go but to continue with her profession, since she had no other option to feed her son, Rahul. There are thousands and millions of Sheela's out there, and it is high time that they got the respect they deserved. They are in this profession because they have no other alternative. Provide them with one, and I am sure they would be more than happy and grateful to do a wonderful job out of it.

All characters in this story are of my creation. I had no intentions of narrating anyone's story or life. Any coincidence is purely fictitious.

Photo courtesy: Google

Stepping the stones to Success

An old saying by Henrik Ibsen, considered as the father of the prose drama goes as, “A woman cannot be herself in the society of the present day, which is an exclusively masculine society, with laws framed by men and with a judicial system that judges feminine conduct from a masculine point of view.” Women of today’s era, however, are proving him wrong.


The Indian woman of present age, are walking the road less travelled, compelling their male equivalent to put in double the effort and strength to overtake them and reach the top. Their ability to juggle with family and professional lives and be an expert in multi-tasking creates awe among the men. Her excellent inter-personal and intra-personal skills and acceptance to admit her faults builds envy among her male equals. Be it P.K.Jayalakshmi, the youngest minister in Kerala, or Bachendri Pal, who wears the honour to be the first Indian woman to stand on top of the world, they have all put in that extra effort to stand above the men. The female foetus is crying for Andal Damodaran’s help to abolish female infanticide. She could be by the name Suparna Ganguli or Shirin Juwaley. She also could be the fitness and beauty conscious Vandana Luthra, who helped women bring back the life into their face.


Women have been looked down upon from time immemorial and the ritual continues. It is believed, and sadly accepted, that a woman’s world starts and ends with her family and does not deserve to enjoy the life she dreams of. On the roads, in trains and/or buses, cinema complexes, institutions, offices, why go any further, some women are ill-treated in their very own homes. They are not treated as equals, and are not provided with equal opportunities in any fields of education and employment. She is considered inferior to men, when in reality, she is a lot more capable and possesses potential to at least give a shot on the impossible.


According to the 2006, The Week Cover story, women are considered to be better leaders, when compared to men. In the same article, Padma Bandopadhyay, retired Air Marshal quotes “Our world begins with the family. While leading a team too, we adopt the same approach.” This very well proves the conclusion given by the magazine. It has to be accepted that every family runs smoothly and lovingly, only because of the sole reason for a woman. Her experience at home, with her husband and kids, moulds her to the whims and fancies of individuals. In an office, the members are collectively looked upon as a family, and this ship of individuals can be sailed a lot smoother with the help of a lady captain. The famous Bachendri Pal, the first Indian woman to climb Mount Everest said in a recent interview in CNN IBN that, during tough times she gathers strength from the moments when she had to climb the mountain. “If I can reach the top of the world, nothing is impossible,” she says. Shirin Juwaley, a burn victim by her very own husband, now fights with the help of her NGO Palash, and is out on the roads, helping other similar victims regain their self esteem and self confidence, to live life as a normal human being.

A lot many women have proved that impossible is nothing, as long as you put in your heart and soul into it your act. It takes a lot of determination and courage, for a woman to stand out, in a man dominated world. But as long as you are ready to input that extra effort to crack that egg in a special way, you would be the star, no matter what gender you belong to 

Dear Men,

I write this on behalf of the entire woman population. You can show me examples of women who would disagree, but I am sure, deep inside all of them agree to this.

You assume and believe that you are the King of all. But are you the master of any one? You believe you have done enough and more of work at office that your attention, love and care is not called for at home. You get annoyed and irritated when your wife, mother, daughter or son for that matter, come and pile you up with the day’s worries and tensions.

Have you ever wondered and thought how it would be to wake up early enough to wake up all of the others at home, including you, make breakfast for the entire family, dress up your kids for school, give your tie that ‘special’ touch and kiss you off to work, clean the house, make lunch, wash and iron the clothes and water the garden? Also, to bring back your kids from school, make snacks for them, make sure they do their homework, and in the process get all the curses from them for pulling them from their play time, and sit them down to study, scream at them during the entire process, have a smiling face, in spite of all this, when you return from home? Get dinner ready ‘in’ time to fulfill everyone’s hungry appetite, wash the dishes and lie down with an aching back and head. Oh and not to forget, fulfill your desires once in bed! And you say home makers do not have any work!

Not to forget the tension and work load a working woman has to go through, in addition to all this. Now would you call yourself the ‘most’ hard-working person in the house?

• What is it that makes you stare at a woman?
• Is it the beauty? Or is it just because they have a bloated chest that differentiates them from you? Did you stare at them, when you were fed by your mother as well?
• What makes you comment and sing dirty songs when you see a woman in sari?
• Why do you try peeping in through the last layer of pallu to see that tiny inch of flesh, which you could very well see if you took off your shirt?
• When you get back home to a loving mother, wife or sister, would you do the same to them as well? How would you feel if someone would blow a dirty amount of air towards your mother, sister, wife or daughter?
• Why is it that you can go around sleeping with as many girls as you want, and you are considered a hero and macho-man?
•  At the same time when a woman does the same she is given a special name ‘prostitute’ and is considered a disgrace to the society. Why the difference?
• Why is it that there is a test to verify and confirm if a woman is a virgin or not, when you can have all the fun you want before or after marriage, and no one need to question your virginity?
•  We all talk and preach about equality among the two genders. But where exactly is equality?

A woman could be caring, loving, and protective till the end of her life. But once, you aggravate her, she could be your worst nightmare for a lifetime. Or maybe even for more. She could be the most blessed asset or the worst curse for you.

Annoyed....

I am right now an annoyed and irritated GIRL, who finds equality among the two sexes not happening. At least not in my town! Why is it that a guy or man or whatever that stupid species call themselves as, gets goosebumps when he sees a girl driving? Why can't they just handle it when they see a girl driving the car in front of them? Why is it that he has to make either faces or comment on her driving or make false, all-of-a-sudden problems with the car? Why do they think they are the only ones who can drive well? Who do they think they are? 

You look Beautiful…

Lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, compact, nail colour, eye shadow, face wash, moisturizers, hand cream, face cream, nail cream, sun block lotion. Oh, I could go on forever, on the agents that accentuate one’s beauty, or helps highlight the elements that accentuate one’s beauty, or renovate the elements that stand in between you and your beauty. Beauty is definitely a subjective quality differing from one person to the other. What beauty is for me may not identify as so for another. Beauty for me is the ‘mother’ figure. Is it for you?

Nine terrible, painful and anxious months. No one can really understand this feeling except for a mother. Or rather an expecting mother! The moment when a woman meets her gynac to confirm her doubts, is as tension filled as when she meets the very same gynac with the help of whom she brings a new life to this world. Oh, and not to forget the nine horrific months in between. 

While the entire world around her is excited about a new member joining in very soon, she experiences hormonal changes that make her angry at one point and sad at the other. Anxious now and tensed the next second. I wonder how that feels. To have a frown on your face at one second and a wide smile the next. It sounds scary enough. The change of diet and at times the hogging seen is quite funny to the outside world. However, imagine the amount of calories that body is carrying, along with the baby. Needless to mention, your size zero would definitely have gone through a nasty roller coaster ride by the end of it. On the other hand, some people would die for some food at this time. The shooting of the sugar and pressure level refuses them to have anything. Even the normal routine diet her body was enjoying before the added attraction inside the body! Not for a month, nor a two. A complete nine month diet! What a contrast! For whom? For that one tiny soul that has not even entered the evil world. The tiny kicks and boxing from the young one reminds her that her life is going to change like she never expected it to. For better or for worse.

Thankfully, God has been sweet enough. He/she; I have not really made up my mind if God is a strong male figure, or a fragile female figure. Anyway, God has made the young one, who is now out of mommy’s protective belly, so energetic and naughty, that the mother is sure to lose all the extra calories she gained during her expecting period. The toddler runs haywire around the house, throws and breaks things, shows his/her creativity on the walls, eats food he/she is not allowed to ultimately leading to illness.

OMG!! What a pain! Oh, not for a mother. You know why? Because that restless, ‘creative’ piece of life came from within her. She finds a part of herself on that innocent face. And why wouldn’t she? After all, she fed it, rocked it to sleep, felt it even before the doctor had a chance to bring it to this world. She wouldn’t mind running behind the restless kid, buying all new stuff, thanks to the kid’s energy, repainting the entire wall and looking after him/her, be it day or night. You know why? Because that kid is her life now!

I guess the alphabet ‘T’ is a nightmare for every mother. Because it represents two of the most important yet worst stages in their child’s growth. Toddlerism and Teenagerism. “I am grown enough to look after myself”. A quote I am sure, every mother with a teenage child, be it from the highest status of living to the lowest, would hear ATLEAST once in a day. If the child is a girl, the number of times the quote is chanted would vary drastically. But who would know what is best for that child and what is not, more than the very same person through whose eyes you saw this world before being a part of it? After all she knew what was best for you when you were just a combination of ova and sperm. So why not now? Do you know how much a mother suffers when her child is angry at her? Do you know how let down she feels when all she wants is to spend some time with her child and the child runs away screaming, “My friends are cooler”? Do you know how much it hurts to see her child hurt or to hear something bad about her child? I don’t think anyone except for a mother can answer a ‘yes’ to any of these questions. Personally, I feel her child’s silence is the greatest pain a mother can face. But no matter how much her child ignores her or finds her shameful to present in front of his/her friends, for a mother her child is always the best, the most beautiful.

I don’t really think the worry about her child ever leaves a mother. Even if the child is a parent themselves, she would always want her child to be happy, safe and successful. And she would go to any level to make her child the same. But no one really realizes the worth, until they become a parent themselves. Luckily, for a mother that time is never too late. All she would want to hear from her child, at least once would be, “Mom, you are beautiful”!

P.S: Amma, you have been with me through my worst times. There are times when I have put you through hell. But you have always been a true support and were and will remain to be the bestest friend I have ever had. There’s not a thing that I have not told you. Well sometimes it’s after the whole incident, but I do tell it to you. And there are times, when I have people all around me but I still feel lonely, because I miss you. Just wanted to tell you I love you and that I really respect you from the bottom of my heart.